People who are insecure "act out" in various ways. They may cheat, be depressed, drink, smoke, use drugs, emotionally abuse or even mentally abuse others. When they drink, smoke, or do drugs they are actually sexy lingerie drowing in the depression however when they lash out by cheating and/or being mentally/physically/emotionally abusive they psychologically think they are lifting their self esteem. They feel in control, wanted/desired