Single people have affairs (whether it be one night or one year)with married people for various reasons. No it is not right and there is no excuse that one or the other can give that makes it right but the reality of it is that it does happen. In todays society, everyone is looking for the easy way out. We are selfish, self centered, and want to be in control. We make decisions on "the moment" rather than looking at the consequences of our actions. When confronted with the situation head on, the excuse often given is, "It was a mistake" or "if you step up your game at home i wouldn't be out there". The truth of the matter is that it is not a mistake because you knew what you were doing when you did it. It was a conscience choice(especially when it happens over and over again) and you are just sorry because you got caught. It is not a matter of anyone stepping up their game either. This is just a way of shifting the blame from you(the cheater) to the other person. You have now not only gotten caught but you have hurt your spouse and the other person involved. The reality is that the cheating person has some internal issues ranging anywhere from insecurities to sexual addictions that they are not dealing with. People who are insecure "act out" in various ways. They may cheat, be depressed, drink, smoke, use drugs, emotionally abuse or even mentally abuse others. When they drink, smoke, or do drugs they are actually drowing in the depression however when they lash out by cheating and/or being mentally/physically/emotionally abusive they psychologically think they are lifting their self esteem. They feel in control, wanted/desired. Those that truly have a sexual addiction are not addicted to the actual sex but they are addicted to the orgasm and the thought of reaching that orgasm with various people. Reality is all of those scenerios are short term fixes and this type of behavior will continue over and over until something drastic happens. This could be the spouse catching them, the spouse or person on the "side" getting hurt (emotionally, physically, or mentally), an unplanned pregnancy, or even someone if not all parties involved catching a Sexual Transmitted Disease. It is time that everyone grow up and be accountable to yourself and to your spouses. Love yourself enough to not settle for being number 2 through whatever, or having the mentality that a man will be a man. Love yourself enough to demand respect from others and recognize when it's time to move on. Relationships whether marriage or courting stage require work. No outside person can tare your home apart, only you and the person in the relationship can. Just like the seasons, people change and especially with age or as the years go by. Take the time to grow with them instead of growing away from them and then using a cop-out excuse as your reason for doing something you did to possibly destroy your relationships.
Now to the single person, don't settle. It is often quoted that if the person did it to the last mate then they will do it to you. I don't completely agree with that statement so i choose to say if a person did it to their mate, then they are highly capable to do it to you. Every situation and relationship is different so it may not happen to you but it is highly possible to happen. Some of you may desire married indiviuals because of past experiences and your unwillingness to trust again, to love again, and maybe you just want to be single but have a companion that is "safe" or only sleeping with you. Well News Flash, if they have a spouse they are definitely sleeping with the spouse and they are not safe because you don't know who else they are sleeping with or if and who their mate is sleeping with. Secondly, love is a powerful thing so ask yourself what will you do when/if you fall in love with the married person? History will repeat itself and you will untimately end up the one hurt in the end. Don't put yourself through this taking risk on people who can't be accountable to you. Don't gamble on someone already involved, gamble on the single person and don't be afraid of change.
Single people have affairs (whether it be one night or one year)with married people for various reasons. No it is not right and there is no excuse that one or the other can give that makes it right but the reality of it is that it does happen. In todays society, everyone is looking for the easy way out. We are selfish, self centered, and want to be in control. We make decisions on "the moment" rather than looking at the consequences of our actions. When confronted with the situation head on, the excuse often given is, "It was a mistake" or "if you step up your game at home i wouldn't be out there". The truth of the matter is that it is not a mistake because you knew what you were doing when you did it. It was a conscience choice(especially when it happens over and over again) and you are just sorry because you got caught. It is not a matter of anyone stepping up their game either. This is just a way of shifting the blame from you(the cheater) to the other person. You have now not only gotten caught but you have hurt your spouse and the other person involved. The reality is that the cheating person has some internal issues ranging anywhere from insecurities to sexual addictions that they are not dealing with. People who are insecure "act out" in various ways. They may cheat, be depressed, drink, smoke, use drugs, emotionally abuse or even mentally abuse others. When they drink, smoke, or do drugs they are actually drowing in the depression however when they lash out by cheating and/or being mentally/physically/emotionally abusive they psychologically think they are lifting their self esteem. They feel in control, wanted/desired. Those that truly have a sexual addiction are not addicted to the actual sex but they are addicted to the orgasm and the thought of reaching that orgasm with various people. Reality is all of those scenerios are short term fixes and this type of behavior will continue over and over until something drastic happens. This could be the spouse catching them, the spouse or person on the "side" getting hurt (emotionally, physically, or mentally), an unplanned pregnancy, or even someone if not all parties involved catching a Sexual Transmitted Disease. It is time that everyone grow up and be accountable to yourself and to your spouses. Love yourself enough to not settle for being number 2 through whatever, or having the mentality that a man will be a man. Love yourself enough to demand respect from others and recognize when it's time to move on. Relationships whether marriage or courting stage require work. No outside person can tare your home apart, only you and the person in the relationship can. Just like the seasons, people change and especially with age or as the years go by. Take the time to grow with them instead of growing away from them and then using a cop-out excuse as your reason for doing something you did to possibly destroy your relationships.
Now to the single person, don't settle. It is often quoted that if the person did it to the last mate then they will do it to you. I don't completely agree with that statement so i choose to say if a person did it to their mate, then they are highly capable to do it to you. Every situation and relationship is different so it may not happen to you but it is highly possible to happen. Some of you may desire married indiviuals because of past experiences and your unwillingness to trust again, to love again, and maybe you just want to be single but have a companion that is "safe" or only sleeping with you. Well News Flash, if they have a spouse they are definitely sleeping with the spouse and they are not safe because you don't know who else they are sleeping with or if and who their mate is sleeping with. Secondly, love is a powerful thing so ask yourself what will you do when/if you fall in love with the married person? History will repeat itself and you will untimately end up the one hurt in the end. Don't put yourself through this taking risk on people who can't be accountable to you. Don't gamble on someone already involved, gamble on the single person and don't be afraid of change.