An Ode to
MY LIFE IN RUINS:
The Top 10 Least Fun Things About Traveling Abroad

Fortunately, Nia Vardalos's character Georgia didn't encounter the vast majority of these less-than-pleasant experiences while in Greece. So, with two sides to every coin (drachma?), here are some of the NOT-so-wonderful experiences travelers can occasionally encounter during their globe trots. (Our two cents though? Don't let these potential horror stories ever stop you from broadening your horizons...)

Georgia's and her tour group's story from Greece hits theatres June 5th! And don't miss a behind-the-scenes video about the country (starring Nia) at the bottom of this post!

Meanwhile, beware of...

10. Potty Issues

Beware of restroom stalls so small that you have to shimmy along the side of the toilet to close the door. Or for that matter so small that your knees touch the door once you sit down, making it almost impossible to stand back up, let alone - well, you know. Or how about non-existent toilet seats? And then there's the added challenge of - depending on the country you visit - just a plain hole in the ground, and nothing else. (P.S. And then there's BYO TP!)

9. Tacky Fellow Travelers

You know who I'm talking about: the ones that cut you off in traffic or while in line for ancient sites or theme park rides. The ones who slam hotel room doors when arriving at the hotel late at night or when they leave before you do in the A.M. The loud ones whose kids are even LOUDER. (Unfortunately all too often it's the Americans who fit this description... Oh well.)

8. Bad Lodging

We've all come across hotel room gadgets - TV remotes and alarm clocks, for instance - that seem to require a PhD in electronics to operate. And there's the electronic sockets you can't plug your hair dryer or cell phone charger into. How 'bout those "smoke-free" hotel rooms that have, mysteriously, been smoked in? One person's experiences in a Hotel From Hell in Malta: "Malta was going through a heatwave, but no air conditioning in the building was working - so it was boiling. Then the [elevators] didn’t work, so we had to lug all our cases up 16 floors to our room... For the first few days, the hotel pool also had no water. Then the staff finally filled it! But they forgot the chlorine. So everyone among us trying to escape the heat with a dip in the pool got these horrific ear infections. It was a horrendous scene, all the guests irate and angry."

7. Flying - Period.

Okay, here goes: Sudden unexplained nose dives. Miniscule seats that barely lean back. No leg room. Poor ventilation. Lost luggage. Microscopic "snacks." Endless delays. Missed flights. Last-minute cancellations. Astronomical fares. Stomach-churning turbulence. Screaming kids. Confiscated liquids. And hours (and hours and hours - depending on where in the world you happen to be flying to) of boredom. "A Chinese airline recently asked its passengers to 'hold it' during flights because flushing the toilet burns expensive fuel." (worldhum.com) Just think: all this fun and you haven't even gotten to your destination yet!

6. Illness

Diarrhea, dysentary and/or food poisoning can reduce you to a fetal position in a third world country hotel, with no English-speaking doctor in sight. From Frommers:  "If the 'doctor' at the 'infirmary' you go to on the street offers you a discounted bus ticket immediately after selling you giant horse-sized mystery pills, head straight to the hospital and see a real doctor." Plus, other potential physical threats, as described by Away.com: "Exotic parasites, bugs (literally) you've picked up along the way, and strange dreams brought on by Lariam, an anti-malarial drug that has some well-documented side effects...

Going the fine dining route could always pose alternate hazards as well: "During New Year's Eve in Paris, a waiter spilled flaming Grand Marnier on my brand new seven-day-old coat, burning a hole right through the lining. 'The garcon' didn't apologize for it and didn't give me any sort of discount on my dinner either!" (atforumz.com)

5. Exotic Wildlife

From Australian Explorer: "After hiking in the Himalayas we traveled to Chitwan Jungle on the border of India. At dusk a group of us ventured into the jungle with our guide who was on 'work experience' from Kathmandu, replacing the regular guide for just that evening. His inexperience led us into the path of a mother rhino separated from her baby. The huge and distraught rhino charged our group, causing my husband to break the minute mile as he fled to the safety of a lookout tower and the rest of us to gather in a long line behind the nearest tree, grasping each others' waists in single file and moving from side to side as the rhino shortsightedly attacked & attacked the tree trunk. It was such a terrifying experience that one traveler actually lost control of his bodily functions and a pair of Swedish girls flew out the next day. The immediate problem was to get back to camp as darkness fell, avoiding other rhinos and facing the prospect of encountering tigers which emerged at night."

Oh, and if you're going to Spain watch out for those impromptu bull runs.

4. Losing Your Stuff

Leaving your belongings behind on a train or in a cab - or an airline losing your luggage, which we've probably all experienced - ain't fun, let's face it. Being pick-pocketed, let alone having your bag with clothes, laptop and/or passport stolen - feels even worse. From a story recounted in Britain's The Telegraph: "I traveled around the world with a friend and our last stop was in Hawaii. We stayed in a youth hostel on Waikiki Beach but it was so dodgy that we didn’t dare leave our stuff there. We went to the beach carrying everything we owned, including every roll of film saved after four months of traveling, in a black rucksack. In the afternoon, I opened the bag to search for my sun cream and discovered that a thief had switched it for an IDENTICAL rucksack -- stuffed with paper. I had the horrible realization that we were leaving in two days and yet had no tickets, passports or money. We told the police who, luckily for us, put us in touch with an amazing charity which helped victims of crime." At least there was a happy ending.

3. Transportation Issues

Beware of cabbies in foreign countries who may take advantage of your ignorance regarding their currency and charge you many times the actual fare for - on top of it - a quite possibly harrowing experience (such as in Cairo - be life insured before hailing a taxi there). And we've all seen scenes from Third World countries in which bus passengers share space with chickens and other critters while trekking along steep, narrow, pothole-filled roads at a snail's pace, crammed shoulder-to-shoulder with chain-smokers. But renting your own car doesn't always solve things either; from an unlucky traveler on Travelblog: "I encountered a 35-mile backup - and moving about 5 mph - on the main interstate circling Moscow! And it was because of HEAT. It was about 85 F (amazing in itself in that area), and was causing cars to overheat, and they'd just stall on the interstate." (As far as we know, the poor blogger is still in Russian traffic.)

2. Not Packing Well 

From streetdirectory.com: "Clothes DO make a difference! Have you ever skiied in shorts? Or how about sunbathed in a winter coat? Consider the climate of the places you intend to visit and use that to help plan what clothing you need to bring. You can consider buying clothing at your destination, but some places are just plain expensive. I once ended up in Hong Kong for a short period of time; I had been in the tropics for the two months prior, so I didn't have a single rain jacket or heavy coat. Go figure that the entire week I was visiting, the temperature didn't rise above 60 degrees... Oy. Another clothes-specific warning: The burn from an equatorial sun is one of the most intense sunburns you can get..."

1. Legal Trouble

Just avoid this altogether while in other countries - 'kay? (Yikes.)

***

OR... Avoid All Of the Above

And See Greece With Nia Vardalos

On June 5th

MY LIFE IN RUINS

Other sources
About.com • Independent Traveler • The Travelers Notebook • Travel Blissful • The Travel Tart