WAITRESS (opening May 2nd) revolves around Keri Russell and her co-workers, all of whom are waitresses in a diner known for its pies. So we though it'd be fun to have people share their own funny stories from restaurants -- whether working in them or dining in them.
See Searchlighters' responses below -- and please add your own tales in the comments box!
- "Three heavy-set women on vacation were seated in my outdoor section. It started raining and a busboy came to install a large umbrella to cover rain. They spontaneously cheered and clapped 'Hercules! Hercules! Hercules!' like Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor."
- "Either getting retribution on the *&%$ manager of a Farrell's Ice Cream by handing him a stack of 200+ degree metal platters fresh from the Hobart, or (at the same job) surreptitiously turning a drinking straw into a blow-gun and shooting frill-picks to explode birthday-party balloons at unsuspecting tables full of small children and petulant adults. In retrospect, a pretty fun job."
- "Why is it that when you bring to a waiter's attention that there is old food debris pasted on to your fork that they hold it up to the light, study it and then want to challenge you on your request for a new, clean fork?"
- "In the 70's a group of us ate at Astro Burger on Melrose and Gower and there was a bug crawling on the wall by our table. A friend we were with flipped out and threw his double cheeseburger with special sauce against the wall in a huge splat."
- "I got my first job in the film industry as a result of serving Peter & Bobby Farrelly. They were shooting 'Me, Myself & Irene' in Vermont, so after many evenings of them coming into my bar for dinner and drinks, I asked for a job, and became a set PA 5 days later."
- "I worked at a family-owned Italian restaurant where the entire family actually worked. The younger son was 'unique' and had extremely hairy fingers. Every time he scooped ice cream I literally would go into convulsions and try to steer costumers away from the flavors I saw him scoop."
- "When I was a senior in high school I was the drive-thru girl at Rally's on Venice Blvd. My boyfriend thought it would be really funny to drive-thru and order a banana milk shake and then say "banana" to every question I asked him like, "Would you like anything else with that?" He didn't know my manager stood next to me listening to every order on a headset."
- "A hot waitress left me her phone number on my bill once. Okay, she wasn't hot. And she left it for my friend."
- "The waitress spilled the drinks on me then while she was cleaning, grabbed my retainer case and threw them out - that bitch."
- "I worked at a pizza joint during my high school summers, and we would call out order numbers over a loud speaker. I, of course, took advantage of this opportunity to train and perfect my vocal skills, and became quite popular for singing out orders in the style of Ms. Britney Spears."
- "I was being served at an Italian restaurant and the waitress was balancing a lot of full plates. She spilled sauce on her hands as she was serving. After she put the plates down she held up her hands, which had red sauce in the middle of them, and said, 'Look, it's stigmata!'"
- "I worked as a Subway Sandwich "Artist" for 3 years in High School. We used to get bored and speak to customers with fake accents that we slowly faded out as we moved down the toppings line to the register until it was gone by the time they paid. They were always very confused."
- "In Austria, asking a waitress for directions, we both leaned over my map then stopped, looked at each other because we both smelled the most acrid, horrible smell - she then started patting my head as my hair had caught on fire from the candle on the table."
- "My first job was as a hostess at Steak & Ale. I can barely remember anything except that on the nights I worked, I would eat half the starlight mints in the bowl by my hostess stand because we weren't allowed to eat real food when working. I had really fresh breath that year."
- "I had a family member who did a short stint as a cook for McDonald's. She worked on the breakfast shift and decided to dye the pancakes green for St. Patrick's Day. No one ate them."
- "I worked in a movie theatre. When cleaning up the theatre we found a gallon jar of pickles that someone had snuck into the theatre. The pickles were gone and all that was left was the juice."
- "On the same day in my first week as a waiter at a southern food restaurant I put my hand through a glass window AND dropped a heavy metal pole (for weighing down tarps draping the sides of an enclosed patio) on a female customer's head while she was eating, made her bite her tongue and burst into tears."
- "I was the world's clumsiest waitress: dropped a tray of cocktails on a group of people. Dropped a hot cup of coffee on a customer. Used to give people fully caffeinated beverages when they asked for decaf if they were rude. Used to curse when anyone would hot tea because there were 7 elements to it: cup, saucer, lemon, tea bag, hot water teapot, doily, small plate."
Okay, now it's your turn! Tell us your own funny restaurant story in the comments box below. And be sure to check out WAITRESS on May 2nd!
You know, sometimes you hear stories about things that you think must be thought up or contrived just for the pure enjoyment of it all, but what happens next put me into a bit of a silent, non-responsive mode I rarely, if ever find myself.
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